Okay! That's enough scholastic mumblings for a while — time for something lighthearted and fun: last Halloween's dinner! As I've mentioned previously, I occasionally get the urge to cook — either for a specific holiday or for a quiet moment in the midst of scholastic madness, so I feel back in control of myself and my surroundings. This last Halloween was on the same night as when the Great Gaming Horde comes over, so I got the urge to make a special dinner for fun! The menu was carefully selected for three criteria: (a) it had to be easy to make in the tools I had to hand, since I'd be making several different things, (b) it needed to include a bit of meat, bread, fruit, and veggies — rather than, say, being all meat, or all sweets — and (c) it had to look dreadful or be named as something awful! I am pleased to say I succeeded on all counts — apparently to the extent that one poor guest actually started feeling nauseous… until he discovered what he was looking at was merely decorated bread. ;)

So, the dreadful menu for eating the dead on Hallowe'en! We started with a drink of bile — complete with stirring twig — and poison apple dip with crackers and apple slices. The appetizer was eye of newt. The main course was saucy zombie toes and zesty zombie fingers, with guts to sop up the juice; and the dessert was sweet zombie kidneys! On the whole I think the meal was a great success, as we all stuffed ourselves, and there was still a little left over for later gnoshing. I believe one of my guests found the bile too sweet (but was too polite to say anything), and through a planning error I made too many zombie kidneys. Also, I found the poison apple a bit too sweet for my taste. But past that, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, which pleased me greatly… and probably took care of that particular cooking urge for a few years! :)

And now, the recipes! Almost all of these came originally off the internet, but were mildly futzed with by me to make them fit my needs. I will, therefore, be sharing what I did and crediting where I can, so you can look at the original recipes too if you want. While I foolishly didn't think to save off all the URLs to credit the original cooks, I do so everywhere I can. Also, while I'm not going through the meal in order, we will nevertheless start with the (very simple) bile, hurrah! Nothing like a good hot cup of bile to get you feeling zippy. Well… okay, might want to have another drink handy as well.

A hot cup of bile next to the Hallowe'en candle

A hot cup of bile next to the Hallowe'en candle

Hot sweet bile

  • 2 liters apple cider (the bile)
  • 1 cup red hots (the sweet-spicy part of the bile)
  • Cinnamon sticks (the stirring twig)
  • A crockpot

Pour cider into crockpot on Low, then add 1 cup red hots to the cider. Cook for 3 or 4 hours until the red hots are all melted. Pour cider into a small glass, as it's quite strong. Add cinnamon stick.

Enjoy your bile! Don't eat the stirring twig, though.

Next (and with thanks to Waya, who gave me the original recipe) is the zombie toes — also dead simple!

Zombie toes

2 pounds "Little Smokies" cocktail smoked sausages (the zombie toes)
One 32-ounce jar grape jelly
One 20-ounce jar plain yellow mustard

Combine all ingredients in a large crock pot and cook on low for 6-7 hours, stirring occasionally. Enjoy!

Tasty, tasty zombie toes!

Tasty, tasty zombie toes!

That's really all there is to it, too! As Waya noted in her email to me, "The jelly and mustard will melt together into a tangy-sweet sauce. Everyone I've ever met that didn't know what was in it was surprised that it was this easy and very yummy. This is something that mostly gets served as hors d'oeuvres at parties and showers around here. It's dead simple and very savory and a big favorite. It can be served over noodles. When you read the ingredients, you're probably going to think 'Really?', but it comes out nummy."

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