{"id":5117,"date":"2014-09-19T17:13:14","date_gmt":"2014-09-20T00:13:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stormtiger.com\/collie\/bestiary\/?p=5117"},"modified":"2014-09-19T17:13:14","modified_gmt":"2014-09-20T00:13:14","slug":"clearing-the-decks-to-write","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.stormtiger.com\/collie\/bestiary\/2014\/09\/clearing-the-decks-to-write\/","title":{"rendered":"Clearing the decks to write"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Finally had a bit of a breakthrough on my dissertation proposal &#8212; hallelujah! Working now on getting a dissertation committee Chair, and figuring out all the astonishing amounts of paperwork that must be filed as well. Gah! The Chair is harder than it sounds &#8212; this person must be a professor at my school and should be familiar with the niche subject I&#8217;m interested in researching, in the niche field which is my corner of the Philosophy &amp; Religion department. Another gah.<\/p>\n<p>So this means I&#8217;m frequently kind of out of brain juice, so I&#8217;m taking this moment to try and help out a sister scholar who is doing <a title=\"Seeing Red: Menstruation, Misery, &amp; Metamorphosis\" href=\"http:\/\/iterluxperpetua.wordpress.com\/2014\/05\/07\/seeing-red-menstruation-misery-and-metamorphosis\/\" target=\"_blank\">some research for a personal project on menstruation<\/a>. If you&#8217;re willing to answer a few interesting questions regarding menstruation, would you head on over to her site and check it out, please? :)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~<\/p>\n<p>A friend asked how I center myself and clear my thoughts prior to writing. Like her, I truly enjoy writing, but I too have had difficulty clearing my mind and getting my butt into the chair and then getting my ideas out there. I&#8217;ve found that scheduling regular writing times is an imperative for me &#8212; otherwise there is always <em>something<\/em> I can come up with to distract myself&#8230; and you can only floss the cat so many times before she runs at sight of you! :)<\/p>\n<p>However, I think my friend and I differ in how we see the first 10 to 15 minutes after we&#8217;ve sat down to begin writing. She feels hers are wasted simply trying to figure out how to begin&#8230; whereas I tend to use them to just blather on however I want &#8212; and at some point I start sliding into the requisite mind-set to write good academic prose. That&#8217;s what this is, in fact: me calming my head down enough to get into a good writing fugue. I start by tossing out the random thoughts that would distract me &#8212; like, have you ever had a song that you heard as a kid that you&#8217;ve always tried to find since then, but haven&#8217;t been able to&#8230; and then all of a sudden one day, there it is on the radio?<\/p>\n<p>That happened to me recently &#8212; much to my pleasure at rediscovering the song. I had heard it a few times on the radio when I was a kid living in Florida with my family &#8212; maybe it had been just released? I don&#8217;t know&#8230; but I hadn&#8217;t been able to hear the whole thing without interruption. When I finally had a chance to do so, my mom was taking me to buy a long dress for&#8230; I think it was a cousin&#8217;s wedding? I vaguely recall a tiny boutique dress shop in the deep shade of huge old, Spanish moss-draped oaks. I was not wild about dresses &#8212; I felt I looked awful in them &#8212; but I was hoping this time a long dress would make the difference.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>And somebody grabbed me<br \/>\nThrew me out of my chair<br \/>\nSaid, &#8220;Before you can eat<br \/>\nYou gotta dance like Fred Astaire!&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I truly craved the ability to look elegant and graceful; to float effortlessly across the floor as I danced with my admiring partner, the way everyone else seemed to be able to do. I was young; I didn&#8217;t realize everyone else was as panicked about looking stupid and clumsy as I was. So the song really spoke to me when it came on, while I was in the changing room. The man&#8217;s voice was a bit nasal, nervous and uncertain sounding &#8212; the way I usually felt inside &#8212; as he repeated himself several times in the chorus:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>You know I can&#8217;t dance,<br \/>\nYou know I can&#8217;t dance,<br \/>\nYou know I can&#8217;t dance &#8212;<br \/>\nI can&#8217;t dance!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>But the singer decides to give it a try because he&#8217;s desperate. There&#8217;s a spoken, &#8220;Hmm&#8230; now wait a minute&#8230;&#8221; &#8212; and then, like <em>The Little Engine that Could<\/em> (another childhood favorite), the singer encourages himself as he gives it his best shot:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Of course I can dance;<br \/>\nI&#8217;m sure I can dance;<br \/>\nI can dance!<br \/>\nI really hit the floor!<br \/>\nAh, it feels good!<br \/>\nLook at me dancing!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>&#8230;and that&#8217;s when he discovers not only that he can indeed dance &#8212; but that he <em>loves<\/em> it!<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>You should have seen me moving<br \/>\nRight across the floor-<br \/>\nHand me down my tuxedo!<br \/>\nNext week I&#8217;m coming back for more.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Needless to say, my teenaged angst took a bit more than that to be defeated, but I still had this on-going, incredible urge to <em>dance<\/em> &#8212; just no real understanding of how to do it. Oh, I took the occasional square dance or clogging class&#8230; but I lacked the confidence or the knowledge to go out on a weekly basis to some place with music, that wasn&#8217;t a singles meat market, which would allow me to simply dance for the joy of it.<\/p>\n<p>Curiously enough, it was a somewhat desperate situation for me (like in the song) which finally taught me how to relax enough to just dance. I was at a party some friends were throwing, and they&#8217;d turned the backyard into a dance floor by the addition of a stereo system turned to face out of a bedroom window, and a good DJ. Two nice young men I rather liked realized I really <em>really<\/em> wanted to dance, but had no idea how &#8212; so they each took an arm, lifted me up off my feet, walked me out into the middle of the dance floor (dance grass? :) &#8212; and refused to let me leave until I danced with them!<\/p>\n<p>They were good enough friends that they knew I would find this sort of exasperatingly funny rather than frightening or annoying, and I knew them both well enough that I was aware if I <em>insisted<\/em> on leaving they would not stop me. However&#8230; I still wanted to dance! They were right there with me, encouraging me to: &#8220;just <em>move<\/em>! It doesn&#8217;t have to be perfect &#8212; just let your body sway!&#8221; &#8212; and so, in a sudden fit of nervous courage I gave it a try &#8212; and it worked!<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>I can dance,<br \/>\nOh yes, I can dance!<br \/>\nLook at me dance on the floor movin&#8217;!<br \/>\nI feel <em>good<\/em>!<br \/>\nI can dance!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Holy cow did I <em>dance<\/em>! I had a <em>wonderful<\/em> time! I wore both of my friends out, but kept dancing with others as they cycled on and off the dance floor. I danced all that night with the astonished, delighted shock of someone who had no idea how <em>easy<\/em> it was, and had a <em>lot<\/em> of wasted time to make up for &#8212; and I didn&#8217;t stop until they turned the music off at 2 am and laughingly said, &#8220;Collie! Go <em>home<\/em>!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>With the advent of the internet I tried occasionally to track down that song I&#8217;d heard so long ago, but the lyrics &#8220;I can&#8217;t dance&#8221; never brought up the song I remembered. It was one of those wistfully pleasant memories where I wondered sometimes if it had really happened the way my memory said it had &#8212; because I couldn&#8217;t find any trace of the song anywhere.<\/p>\n<p>All this came rushing back to me as I was driving to my American Tribal Style belly dance class on a recent Saturday morning &#8212; when the song came onto the radio! I was shocked and utterly delighted, turning up the music loudly to hear all the words, and singing along with the bits I remembered &#8212; correctly even, woo! When it ended I listened carefully for the singer and song title &#8212; and that&#8217;s when I realized why I&#8217;d never been able to track the song down on the internet. The title was &#8220;Long Tall Glasses&#8221; &#8212; but it was also known as: &#8220;I Can Dance&#8221;! All these years, my insistence on the &#8220;can&#8217;t&#8221; in the lyric had kept me from finding the song.<\/p>\n<p>So to Andrew and John, who carried a nervously protesting (and probably heavy) me out onto the dance floor and stuck with me until I started moving: thank you so much, guys! In retrospect, I&#8217;m really glad you did that. And many, many thanks also to Leo Sayer, whose song was one of the first steps in my\u00a0 nervous determination to someday do something I deeply wanted to do: <em>dance<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>After all, it may have taken me a while, but now I <em>know<\/em> I can dance! Can I write a great dissertation? I think I can &#8212; I think I can! ;)<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Finally had a bit of a breakthrough on my dissertation proposal &#8212; hallelujah! Working now on getting a dissertation committee Chair, and figuring out all&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,32,1,26,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dancing","category-education","category-uncategorized","category-spirituality","category-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stormtiger.com\/collie\/bestiary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5117","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stormtiger.com\/collie\/bestiary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stormtiger.com\/collie\/bestiary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stormtiger.com\/collie\/bestiary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stormtiger.com\/collie\/bestiary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5117"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.stormtiger.com\/collie\/bestiary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5117\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5164,"href":"https:\/\/www.stormtiger.com\/collie\/bestiary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5117\/revisions\/5164"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stormtiger.com\/collie\/bestiary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stormtiger.com\/collie\/bestiary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5117"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stormtiger.com\/collie\/bestiary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}