Collie's Bestiary

I emphatically do not understand this. How can a woman on the one hand lyrically proclaim not just the equality, but the apparent spiritual supremacy of women – and then in practically the very same breath, chose to kneel at the feet of a male deity that demands not just submission, but has a brutal history of violent suppression of both women and dissidents? When will she admit it's time to just walk away from the abuse?

Searching carefully, I find one single page in the entire book which seems to attempt explanation of this contradiction within Weber's work. If I am interpreting her writing correctly – and I have no guarantee this is the case – the reason Weber gladly and consistently falls back onto an androcentric, monotheistic male deity is simply because: the concept of Goddess "caused inner turmoil because of her lifelong struggle to understand and resolve the tension between her own mother and herself…. [her listeners] demonstrated both empathy and relief at having 'God the Father' returned to them in a community of women most … had expected would be 'beyond God the Father'" (50). Read the rest of this entry »

Perhaps most dramatically for me: why does Weber wish to stay with a Church which effectively defiles her sacred nature, when she is so clearly aware of the beauty and joy of the Goddess?! Throughout the book Weber practically flirts with the Goddess' myriad forms, dancing along the knife's edge of admission and acknowledgment of Her: "Our faith, our spirituality, then, is the living out, in the common experiences of every day, of the yearning of Wisdom for greater being. … She is… the energy of our quest…. She it is who is our Mother and the Womb from which we are born. We come forth from her each moment wet with the birthing waters of a more whole being" (150).

I love that imagery! I read that and I find myself sure Weber will finally implement the balance of which she so beautifully writes, returning the Goddess as both peer and partner once more to Catholicism's emotionless and isolated God – just as Yahweh originally was balanced by Shekinah-Sophia. The author names Her repeatedly, too — both actual and allegorical: WomanChrist is Weber's naming of the physical embodiment of the supreme female principle within the male-bodied Jesus. She also evokes the Goddess in her life as Demeter & Persephone/Kore, Mary/Eve, Shekinah/Sophia, Aphrodite, Ereshkigal & Inanna, Psyche, Wisdom — and so much more: Read the rest of this entry »

Unfortunately, I ultimately found the four archetypes offered by Weber to be somewhat limiting, in that they all seemed to define a woman in terms of her availability to, or relationships with, men. That choice of imagery enshrines the male as the conceptual center of the universe, and I simply do not believe that is so. I was also repulsed by the presentation of the Mother archetype as (among other things), "the one who feeds us at and suffocates us against her breast. When we attempt to gain freedom from her, she searches us out, even to the depths of hell if necessary" (159). What a perfect presentation of the male fear of being overwhelmed by their mothers! -and how inappropriate to psychologically project that fear onto a mother's love and desperate search for her kidnapped and raped daughter, as epitomized by the tragic story of Demeter and Persephone! Why is this androcentric male phobia even presented in a book which is supposedly about Woman as Wisdom incarnate in Jesus?

Weeping by the rivers of Babylon Read the rest of this entry »

I found myself wondering, in fact, just how much abuse women were supposed to put up with. When was the pain supposed to stop? When the Church changed? I don't see that happening any time soon, especially considering the Church's current appalling clerical record. From ignoring and abetting pedophilia by priests, to treating the ordination of women as a sin on a par with that same pedophilia, the Roman Catholic Church seems today to be deliberately doing its best to drive away women. In such a situation, Weber's insistence on women calling the Christian community to judgment and repentance, from their place in exile, sounds disturbingly like pouring salt on an open wound.

I understand Weber has a slightly different view on judgment, defining it as "a sorting out, a differentiating, a setting apart of that which fits the pattern of creative wisdom from that which does not" (125). However, I do not find that sufficient palliative or redemption for the pain and anguish which Weber seems to be eagerly wishing on those who choose to follow her advice regarding women in the Church. Read the rest of this entry »

Myths and victims

Mythically speaking, this revelation holds true as well, at least in the stories I know of. The entire saga of the Old Norse The Nibelungenlied explores the destructive, generation-spanning violence perpetuated by the violent greed for cursed treasure. None of the people involved could think of confronting the continuing savagery with anything but more aggression, and entire families were destroyed as a result. I've always wondered if that series of stories was a cautionary tale to explain the emergence of weregild rather than the traditional "eye for an eye" blood-feuds which had existed before then.

weregild (or wergild): In Anglo-Saxon and Germanic law, a price set upon a person's life on the basis of rank, and paid as compensation by the family of a slayer to the kindred or lord of a slain person to free the culprit of further punishment or obligation and to prevent a blood feud. (from the on-line American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language) Read the rest of this entry »

Myths and archetypes

Weber clearly understands the power and beauty of myth and dream, which is a subject I too very much appreciate pondering: "The 'beginning' we sense in mythological language or in the language of dream is also the deepest reality of the present and the fullness of the end. It is the state of being before division, when being was one, before the multiplicity of creation" (56). She writes movingly of beautiful spiritual rituals created by and for women, for them to reconnect and remember a time when the Goddess, the Mother of all that is, whirled in the dark chaos of creativity and danced the world into being – a time when women were still valued and revered because they were the precious source of all life. I specifically used her words above, in fact, to describe the rituals, since I find her imagery lovely and evocative.

Her words are often poetic, in fact: "The Divine Fool dances with the stars. The Fool whirls in the center of chaos, holding the worlds together in cosmos. This whirling dance of folly, by which creation continues forming, draws into itself whatever serves the universe and deflects evil, flinging it into nothingness" (130). She characterizes the dance of the Divine Fool as: "a kind of madness in the eyes of the world, a kind of action that seems chaotic in the service of creation. It is the madness of the … protester, artist, and sometimes saint. … It is a madness of hope that acts as if that hope were a reality and, by daring to so act, transforms the hope into reality" (133), then continues, "Prayer becomes the living out of the image given" (134). Read the rest of this entry »

I am still cautiously exploring esotericism, so I also loved her comment about science being what we can know about the Mystery, but that "Mystery is the soul's realm; intuition is the way we perceive it" (121). It was fascinating to see mysticism related so closely to the language of dreams and the non-conscious mind: "Mysticism … [goes] beyond what is available to the senses to participate in a transcendent holiness. It is the soul's yearning to love Ultimate Reality. Mysticism's tendency is not to seek to know but to seek to be united" (122) and later: "Mystic consciousness ultimately transcends images, participating in the Ultimate Ground from which all images proceed" (123).

This was rather eye-opening: it explains why rational-seeming people sometimes choose to believe things that seem utterly absurd to me. If I'm understanding correctly, they are not looking for logic – they are looking for belonging. This may be the source, for example, of the surprising number of people who have written me about their (often grateful or emotional) acceptance and appreciation of the story in A Million Little Pieces — which has been proven to be exaggerated from the actual truth. I guess if the story helps these people to live better lives, it's not a bad thing to believe in. The tragedy, to me, is when that soul-full belief is offered to something that does not deserve the reverence. It is one of the reasons I am cautious about mysticism: I don't want to catch myself choosing to have faith in something which will eventually become self-destructive to me. Read the rest of this entry »

I recently finished reading Womanchrist: A New Vision of Feminist Spirituality, a book which has left me quite perplexed. The author, Christin Lore Weber, is a former nun who left the convent, married, remarried when her first husband died, mothered children, and is now (if I remember correctly) a grandmother. Her writing is beautiful: lyrical, vivid, evocative; she speaks movingly of the stages of her life and personal quest. She sounds like a lovely person: a woman with whom I'd enjoy long, deeply exploratory chats while out walking or over a cozy, shared cuppa together; a woman with whom it would be easy to empathize. Her grief at the death of loved ones is almost painfully honest and deeply personal; her joy at the fragile beauty of life is equally, intensely brilliant.

Throughout most of her book, in fact, I found myself nodding in agreement, sympathy, and/or understanding – which made some of her conclusions even more jarring than ordinary. It's one thing to read a logical argument that comes to a conclusion with which you disagree. I've found it's another entirely to follow along her chain of reasoning with agreement and fascination – and then to discover at the end that the author has veered off in an entirely unexpected – and emotionally unwelcome – direction. Read the rest of this entry »

It's a Sunday morning at about 9:30am as I write this, and I'm at a local mall. I'm helping a friend with writing some papers by being a "writing buddy" with her, the same way two people are exercise buddies to encourage each other to get out and exercise together. I'm writing down my thoughts at arriving at the mall, because everyone I know and respect as a writer says to write what you know. So… here goes. :)

I'm a little early, so I stroll relaxedly through the outdoor mall before heading for our chosen meeting spot. I find this a curiously sensual pleasure, using the word's original meaning of "of the senses." The summer morning is cool and breezy enough that I'm wearing a sweatshirt, and the sun's warming touch is very welcome against my face. The mall is quite empty at this hour, which means I have my choice of parking spots. I have picked one that will leave my car still shaded several hours from now, when I will be departing. Read the rest of this entry »

I did find myself rather raising an eyebrow at some of the symbolism, however, with its emphasis on white clothing and long white veils for purity, consistently white girls in all the graphics, and the emphasis on the ceremonial lighting of candles to conquer and banish the darkness. Not only is that dark vs. light trope a false binary to me, but there was also the issue that all four young Colombes sitting in the front row were women of color.

I mention this because I remember the sensation of astonishing relief, almost like a weight lifting off my shoulders, when I first fully realized the sheer self-empowerment that comes from absolutely refusing an androcentric cultural monotheism that blames women for evil — that comes from realizing my "god" could look like me, could be a numinousness I know as Goddess. The book I've linked to here was a critical step in that process, in fact. Consequently I cannot help but wonder how the four young and very dark-skinned women must unwittingly feel at being always told the very color of their skin was symbolic of ignorance, of unenlightenment, of carnality rather than a heavenly nature. Read the rest of this entry »