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  1. I will say this: arguing with you has tightened up by debating skills. Although I sometimes wonder: is my frustration coming from you being better at making your argument than me, at me being wrong, or at me for not being able to argue my point cogently?

    It very likely depends on what topic we’re discussing. After all, I’m humble enough to know I’m not right about everything. And in fact, am not right about many things. But generally, it comes from not having thought or talked about a subject enough, rather than from sheer-pigheaded conviction.

    Let me propose this, though: being unable to speak for anyone else, I’d say what others interpret as intimidation, I rather view as frustration at rarely being able to *win* an argument. I realize of course, that this is ego, and is foolish. Surely the point is not to be right, but rather, to learn. But the general competitive mindset of our culture (and others) doesn’t tend to remember this. It’s all about winning, right or wrong. And I know this is stupid, and I work hard to remember that you’re not competing with me: you’re merely articulately and cogently arguing a point that you’ve given some serious thought to.

    If I can only remember that consistently, then really, we both win.

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